The Crash

I didn't update my blog for days bcoz my system is crash or i should say "broke down". I dun think i'm having any problem with the software. But im suspecting the motherboard or HDD to give me a trouble now. With bad internet network, no PC, bad network coverage for phone, my life here in Bukit Antarabangsa is so bored. I cant wait to go back to my hometown tonight.

A lot of thing happened during these few days. Especially with my Mr. Sayang. Apparently, he didnt give up yet asking me to find a replacement, for my "happiness". But dont worry sayang, i knw u just say it and did not really mean it. So, i won't find anyone to take ur place in my heart. How do i know that u dun really mean it? Coz u show me how jealous u are when i'm informed u that i am in Farah's house, which means i'm in his bf's house just to having some rest for 1 or 2 hours before iftar. But its ok, i love it when u r jealous. Its means that u r still loving me.

Our memories keep coming to my mind. Especially the memories of our last meeting. I am really regretting for didn't give u my all on that day. I didn't expect that July 21 is gonna be our last time together. If i knw it, i won't let u go that easy on that day. And as u knw, i refused to say good bye to u bcoz im hoping for that day not to become our last. And for now, even i can't greet u "Good Morning", "Good Evening" or "Good Night" everyday, i still can't say "Good Bye" to u.

Sayang, u know that i'm willing to do anything as long as its for you. You can ask me to do anything, I'll do it even it will hurt me. You can ask me to wait for u forever, i dun mind. BUT pls, dun ask me to stop loving u, replace u or stop contacting u. I will never stop doing all those thing. U r my drugs. I'm addicted to u. So, it is kinda hard for me to survive without u. I am OK, i'm still strong as long as i knw that i'm still loving u and u r still there for me, even u r 10k miles away from me.

So Sayang, hope u r understand how strong is my feeling towards u. And those feeling will grow more and never decreased. Pls hold to our promise, that u gonna let me know if u have someone else over there, wife or gf. I will understand it but i will keep loving u and be your friend. Till then, let us love each other and stop asking for someone else. I LOVE YOU!

Loving You,

Cik Meow (Mrs. MS)

P/s my computer is down :( ..but i will call u tonight! :)

The Conversation

I remembered the conversation that we had in the taxi from IKEA to 1utama, for Anyz's birthday celebration.

Saturday, July 16

*******************

Taxi Driver = TD

Mr. Sayang = MS

Cik Meow = CM

*******************

TD : Brother, is this your girl? *referring to me*
MS : yeah
TD : Melayu ke dik? (Trans : Are you malay)
CM : A'ah. Melayu. (Trans : Yup.I'm malay)
TD : Where do you guys staying? *TD thought we are staying together; which is normally happened in Damansara area*
MS : Me in Puchong, she is around this area

TD : So, u come this far just to meet your girl?
MS : Yeah, it is.
TD : So sweet of you. Girl, please don't break this guy's heart.
CM : Insya-Allah tak kan pak cik (Trans : Sure i will not)

TD : Dia ni orang mana dik? (Trans : Where is your boyfriend comes from)
CM : Sudan kot *looking at him*
MS : Yeah. I'm from Sudan *wink*
TD : Ok good. I thought you are from Africa. You know, African is so bad. You need to be careful with them. Especially Nigerian. But Sudanese are good. *[1]maybe DT doesn't know that Sudan is a part of Africa. [2]he is not from Sudan!*
CM : Dia bukan orang sana, Pak Cik. (Trans : He is not from there(Africa/Nigeria)) *Sorry TD for the lie*

TD : Good. So brother, you have a Malay girl. Can you speak in Malay?
MS : Boleh cakap sikit-sikit (Trans : i can speak a little)
TD : So, tell me something good.

MS : Saya sayang dia *pointing at me* (Trans : I adore her)

TD : You "sayang" or love her?

MS : Saya sayang dan cinta dia (Trans : I adore and love her)
CM : And i love u more *of course i'm just whispered it to him*

TD : Bagus. Sayang betul dia kat adik. Adik serius ke dengan dia ni? *Asking me* (Trans : Good. Looks like he really love you. Are you serious with him?)
MS : I am serious. But i don't know about her.
CM : Saya serious kalau dia serious, Pak Cik (Trans : I am serious too, if he is serious about me)

TD : Eh, paham plak dia ni. (Trans : Ooh. He understand us)

CM : Sayang, do u understand what are we talking about?
MS : Saya paham apa awak cakap (Trans : yeah. I do understand)

CM : Great! *and our conversation keep going on with another few topics*

This is a very long conversation coz we stuck in traffic jammed due to road construction around. I am really impressed with his Malay language efficiency. Even its sound a little awkward, but he still can pronounce and understand it well. And i'm really shocked with what he told the taxi driver; that he is serious with me.

Thanks sayang. Hope every single words that u said that day is true. I'm here, still waiting for you and always loving u, with all my heart.

Loving You,

Cik Meow

Forgiveness

I am inspired by this video..Watch this and i'm sure that u gonna be inspired too..

"Forgiveness doesn't change the past. But it brightens the future."

Let us forgive each other by today. Forget the pasts and live for the future.

Dear parents, sorry for always being stubborn.

Dear brothers, sorry for always having fight with you.

Dear lover, sorry for loving you so much.

Dear Mr. O, sorry that i can't accept your love.

Dear ex-es, sorry for broken your heart.

Dear bestfriends, sorry if i ever doubt you.

Dear friends, sorry if i'm not being a good friend to you.

Dear haters, sorry that i make you hates me.

Dear people, sorry if i've done something wrong or hurts you.

Sincerely Apologizing,

Cik Meow

Workaholic?

Am i a workaholic? I think i am. I remembered when i was working in Malaysian Civil Defence Department (JPAM). I'm willing to stay over up to 8pm or 9pm alone in the office just because i love to be in the office; even they didn't pay me much.

Talking about work, i have been jobless for almost two months. Actually i have been hired by a company in Kelana Jaya even before i finished my exam. But maybe my luck is not there. Or i should say that i dun have a good chemistry with the company. I resigned after 2 weeks working there.

After resigning, i have applying for a lot of job. I have about 9 interviews call but i attended only 5 of them (bcoz of some circumstances). The first interview i went is for a position that i didn't apply for. Marketing Executive for an e-learning company. They found my resume in jobstreet and want to interview me. I just give it a try even i'm not really interested for that position. In the same week, i went to my 2nd interview for an outsourcing company for HP Malaysia. My application have passed in the outsourcing company but not in HP. The HP's people said i have met their requirement and passed their test but i'm lack of working experience. So, they can't hire me because of work experience. Then, for the next week, i have been called for an interview/test in IBM located in Bandar Utama. The math test is very hard but i managed to pass it to join the group discussion.

While waiting for the next interview in IBM, i went back to my home town to get some rest (i didn't have any holiday since i finished my study). So, i have been rejected a lot of interview calls. After 2 weeks having holiday, i got interested in one of the offer but they required knowledge in Microsoft Excel. So, i used my freetime to practice Excel. FYI, i have never using the functions in Excel before. My course didn't require me to use Excel. So, learning Excel from scratch to advance level (do pivot table and VlookUp can be categorized as advance level?) is so hard for me to do it in just 1 week time. As the interview turned out bad for me (i passed the test with excellent marks), i'm give up to waiting for this company's reply. So, i just try my luck to work in HSBC Cyberjaya. The process was tough. At first, they gave me online test by email. After i passed the test, they called me for an interview by phone. Next, they invite me for another test and interview in their office. I don't know either my interview was bad or good coz the interviewer interviewed me for only 3 minutes compared to other interviewer who done it in 15minutes; they give review about the test, the tips for interview and some random question about current issues which is i don't have to go through any of them.

As a very negative minded (always think of worst situation could happen) person, i assumed that they will not call me for 2nd interview. So, i am bit down and frustrated with myself. As I'm putting my frowning face, I got a call from landline number. So, i expect it to be the call from another company who want to interview me. But, surprisingly, the call is from the company that i went for the interview last week. They just call me to asked me to check my email and reply to them as soon as possible. They didn't provide me with any other information. But once i checked my mail, i was surprise when i read this :

*Printscreen of my email*

*Offer letter*

[Click images to enlarge]

Yeah, i got the job. I have been hired by the company that having Microsoft Excel test. Alhamdulillah. I will start working in September. Pls pray for my success with this company. Thx.

Peace and Love,

Cik Meow

U choose; ambition or abortion?

I found this video on my friend's FB wall, Roshan Ebi Samuel. It is a very interesting infographic awareness video. I love it!

I like the background music as well :)

Peace and Love,

Cik Meow

Always the Smarter Choice

Voice Call
Yellow line to +234 (area code) mobile; 2 minutes 54 secs = RM1.80
Yellow line to Yellow line; 53 secs = RM0.80

SMS
Yellow line to +234 (area code) mobile = sometimes RM0.25, most of the time RM0.00
Yellow line to Yellow line = RM0.20

Either they understand and love me so much or bcoz they are "always the smarter choice"

I think maybe its bcoz that i love u so much..hahaha

Peace,

Cik Meow

Waiting.

Every time i listened to this song, i will keep thinking of u. The lyrics really suits our situation. So, i dedicated this song to u.

Oceans apart, day after day

And I slowly go insane

I hear your voice on the line

But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never

How can we say forever?

Wherever you go, whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times

That I though would last somehow

I hear the laughter, I taste the tears

But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it, baby?

You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go, whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive

This romance

But in the end if I'm with you

I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it, baby?

You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go, whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

Keep waiting for u,

Cik Meow

To my dearest sweetheart..

U called me last two days (16-08-11) and told me that ur dad didnt allow u to come back here anymore..yeah..it's kinda sad for me..but it is not as sad as when u asked me to look for a new guy..

I thought that we are ready for this. U used to told me that if it happens that u r not gonna come back here, we gonna continue with our relationship like we used to do. U said we gonna break up if one of us find a new partner. So, i didnt expect u to keep asking me to find a new guy.

U also said that u miss my smile. And u want me to keep smiling, the smile that i only showed to u. Maybe u didnt believe me when i said that ur call is enough to make me smile for the whole day. But that is the truth my dear. I do not need any other guy to make me smile.

So, pls my dear. Pls stop asking me to look for a new guy. I dont need them. I just need u. Its hurt my feeling everytime u said it..i love u and only u.

People keep saying that maybe u cant believe me bcoz of what happen between me n ur friend. I means the way we start dating. Mybe u think i cant keep loving u if u r far away. but believe me my dear, i never fall for someone like this. So, it is impossible for me to just forget u n the feeling like that..no matter what, i will keep waiting for u, right here!

I'm sorry that i publicize this matter. i tried to explain it to u, a lot of time before. Hope u will read this n knw that i love u not the same way like when i was wt ur friends. I love u with all my heart.

With Love,

Cik Meow

P/s pls stop asking me to do that ridiculous thing..im tired of crying over it.

Friend for life.. (Part 2)

This is my another friend of life. Here is the profile :

Anyz Yamamoto

23 y.o

Damansara - Seremban - Kuantan - Machida, Tokyo?

Friend-ed since April 2007

We known each other through our boyfriend (ex-boyfriend now). They are friend in an online game. So, they introduce us, to get to know each other in YM conference. She is in Japan that time. So, we just contacting each other through YM and MySpace.

Without noticing, we have become a good friend online.

[to be continued]

Friend for life.. (Part 1)

friend

   [frend] Show IPA

–noun

1.

a person attached to another by feelings of affection orpersonal regard.

2.

a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends ofthe Boston Symphony.

3.

a person who is on good terms with another; a person who isnot hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

--quote from dictionary.com

So, as any other human being, i do have my friends for life, the best friend that anyone can ever imagine. Btw, i'm a quite friendly girl but i do have problem in trusting people. So, i just socialize with people but not really friend-ing them. I have a few closed friends and just 2 bestfriends that i trusted with my life (excluding Mr. Sayang).

I have posted about some of my closed friend in previous post. So, today i'm gonna write something about one of my bestie.. Let's started with the photo:

Reena K (Cik R)

23 y.o

Kuantan, Pahang

Friend-ed since June 2006

Me and Cik R are sharing same interest in some particular stuff. I remembered that we started to become close after we have some issues with our roomates during our first year (instead of complaining, we chose to spent our time at library foyer, doing our assignment and run away from the probs). But the problems didnt lasts long. We manage to talk to her roomate and settle the things down, keeps the relationship in the good terms. Since then, we done almost all groups assignment together.

Moving to second years, again, we faced the same (the subject matter) probs; academic. Her name haven't been registered for major course in 1st trimester of degree (it is the exam unit fault, i think). So, she cant register for major courses in trimester 2 and 3. Coincidentally, in trimester 2, im facing some circumstances that affected my study (im taking leave of absence for this trimester). So, i'm also left out from our group of friends. Without major subject registered, both of us have a lot of free time. That is the started point for us to join co-curricular activities together. Started with Appex, we joined GEMA, Sek@MMU (year 3) and even Watersport club (year 3).

Doing a lot of activities together, we didn't realize that we both have mutual bond. We can understand each other just by looking/body language. There also a rumors spread about us, but pls dun mind, it is not true at all. Being notified as a couple, we don't mind to share the food or drinks in the public coz we are not a couple (there is nothing wrong with sharing something with our bestfriend, is it?).

Sharing the passion in watersport and involve with Sek@MMU activities, people always seen us together. They will questioned us if they saw one of us walking alone. It is funny when some of them think that we cant live without each other for a minute :P.

Then back in final years, we stopped joining any cu-curricular activities and focus on our final project. We do supported each other in our study; we helped each other a lot. Actually we are in the same faculty but different courses. So, sometimes i need to use her knowledge for my assignment and vice versa.

And now, both of us are finally graduated (but the convocation is in upcoming October). Being busy with life, we rarely contacted each other. I miss her and hope to see her soon.

P/s To Cik R; my bestfriend, ex-roomate, comrade, study partner, everything; thx for being with me and be the best in understanding me. Hope that we can keep this friendship forever. I LOVE U!

Peace,

Cik Meow

Improvementation!

Improvementation? I bet u guys cant find the word in any dictionary. but i dun care. i love to create my own words :P

Btw, after one sleepless night with excel lessons, i managed to improve my score in the exam. I wish i can do as well as this in the real exam (it will be in next 2 hours!).

Here is my result :

MICROSOFT EXCEL EXAM » create assessment

Friends, pls pray for my success ok..I really want this job!

Wt love,

Cik Meow

Live update from the company lounge :P

Interview

Tomorrow, im gonna have a job interview with Service Source International. The position is not related to my field but i will try my best.

I need to know about CRM, quoting, and also expert in Excel. But as a multimedia student, i never used Microsoft Excel in my life. So, it is really gonna be a big challenge for me.

To overcome my weakness in Excel, i tried to take an Excel exam. And this is my result :

For the first time ever in my life, i scored F in a exam :(

I'm a bit scared and nervous about the interview tomorrow. Pls pray for my success!

The nervous one.

Cik Meow

I MISS THEM!

Student life always gv good memories to us. I really miss those moments with the people i used to be closed friends before; Reena, Wanie, Waniey Eng, Naza and Farah. The friends that do the "stupid" thing wt me back then. I still remember the moment when we bought McD and ate it at the carpark late at night. Remember we staying up at night to finish our DF assignment and going crazy bcoz of the cowgum (art gum). The day that we are going so far to KL just to find a printing shop that open on Sunday. The challenge that u guys gv me; to eat a small plate of chilies. Hair Saloon Trip. Karaoke hours. J-Drama hours at NEA. Going to the bar just to enjoy the music. Watching a movie and replaying the soundtrack till morning. Stalking people that we like. Our outings, our hang out, our time spent to do those little crazy thing, i really do miss them. Hope someday we will be able to meet and spend the time together like we used to do before..

Iftar

Wanie & Waniey

Iftar 2009

The meeting..

Co-curricular activities

MPM's video shoot

The concert

The race

A team

After a race..with Reena & Farah

Ex-roomate 2009

Waiting

miss those smiles

Reena & Naza :)

I am really sorry if as u guys knw me, I hv done something that hurt u. I knw i have been complaint a lot back then. I knw that i hv done something terrible on our project, something that tarnished our friendship. Even that is not my decision alone, as a group leader, yeah i will take the responsibility to be blamed. I dun mind but I am really sorry about that. I want to say it since long time ago but i was too shy to mention it or even to face u guy; my fault is too big to be forgiving.

So, with this opportunity, with my biggest pleasure, I want to apologize to all of u in everything that i ever hurt u, emotionally, mentally and/or physically. I also wanna let u guys knw that i love all of u and always cherish our friendship since the first day we knw each other, 10-06-2010..

p/s pls accept my sincere apology..

Peace and Love,

Cik Meow (=^_^=)v

Love Stroke

One evening, a week before Mr. Sayang (MS) left Malaysia, a conversation begins,

Meow : Sayang, are u sure that u love me?

MS : Sure. I told u, remember. U, what about u? *noted that "remember" is his fav word :P*

Meow : Of coz i do love u..But why (u love me)?
MS : Haha..why do u ask? I told u before, remember? *yeah i asked before.but the answer is still the same like this :P*
Meow : And when does it started?

MS : I will tell u when i'm about to go, at the airport, ok?
Meow : But why not now? *as usual, stubborn me*

MS : It will be more sweeter if i told u before i left. If i told u nw, it will be just a normal confession. I promise i will call u before i go.

Meow : Ok then. I'll be waiting for ur call.

*and the conversation continues*

The time that we have waiting for has come. I cant follow him to the airport because of some circumstances. So, i just waiting for his call, which is few hours late (from the promise time) because of luggage issues.

MS : Sorry i'm late....*explaining what happened there*

Meow : It's ok sayang. understood.

MS : Now i'm in the boarding queue. We have like 2 minutes to talk. So, let's get to the point. I love ....*he started to explain about that moment; when love first stroke his heart..i was shocked to hear that coz i never expect that is the moment he fall for me*

I cant expose the details here coz it maybe will hurt someone's feeling. But from the situation that he told me, i'm so sure that it is on my first day(first time?) being in Desaria Villa, 23-Jan-2011 *i hv this date noted in my diary*. We have being introduced by my boyfriend our friend nearby the foodcourt on my way to go to the taxi stand. Then it takes few months for us to start being friend and fall for each other.

And surprisingly, today, i feel like checking on his previous post on FB and found this:

so, u change ur relationship status on FB after u saw me?

k. now i believe that u fall for me on that time :P

Peace and love,

Cik Meow (=^_^=)<3

The Final Date

22-July-2011

i still remember

+ our last outing, a day before u left

+ ur face i last saw in the train

+ the last time u said those three words to me face to face, even when people are looking at us

+ ur last word before u fly, on ur way into the plane

+ everything that happened on the day and a day before

Actually, i remember all the time that we are together, even when u came to see me for less than 5 minutes.

I miss u so much sayang. Pls come back here soon :)

22-07-11 is the date that change myself, to completely i dunno who i am. the sadness n the fear changed everything. but ur 1st call from there really changed everything back, almost to their normal state. thx sayang.

p/s i never said gudbye before u left bcoz im hoping to see u soon.

The Exposure!

Today my heart suggests me to write about Mr. Boyfie. So, here i am to write some intro about him.Let's get started!

*sorry..real image will be revealed soon*

Name : Mr. Sayang

Age : 25

D.O.B : 4-days-after-mine, 1986

Tribe : Hausa..never heard before?

Origin : Part of Africa

Status : ex-student of LUCT Cyberjaya, currently working wt his family

So, that is the profile of my man. n hell yeah, he is a black, african, or whatever u want to call it. I don't mind about bad perception people have on me just because i'm dating a black guy. People always reminds me of how bad african is. Yeah, i couldn't disagree with them. But for me, every society/country have their own good and bad people. So, this doesn't mean that all africans are bad and all malays are good. We need to choose our friends carefully, ryt?..

Some people do ask me why do i choose black over my own people.. My answer is simple, they knw how to respect us as a Muslim women. Sorry, i didn't means to say that Malays don't knw how to respect us but from my experience of dating Malays or meeting with the guy that i suppose to date, they are likely trying to touch me (e.g hands) on the first met. n u knw how important the first impression is, do u?.. yeah, not all malays are like that. I don't streotype them but as for now, i didn't found yet the one that really not doing that. mybe i should find them out of my friends circle. And that is not the only reason i chose them. Their bonus point is they have been raised in a very Islamic culture/environment. Way more Islamic than our country. So, their lifestyle are influenced by these Islamic values and i love it. After all, religion is a main factor for us to choose our partner. Even i'm not a good Muslimah, i ought to choose someone better to guide me & prevent me from doing bad thing, am i?

I think this is only the matter of choice. We are free to choose who we want to love and i chose to be with him and love him. I am really sorry if any of my word are abusive to some people. I just pointed out my opinion from my point of view. There is nothing right and wrong in this matters. I am really sorry if i do hurts anyone feeling, ok?

*i do apologize a lot coz i knw this is sensitive issues that can lead to racism.i'm sorry again*

With Love,

Cik Meow

New start (again?)

As i promised before (and i failed to do so), i'm trying so hard to keep this blog updated. So, here i come again, updating this blog once a year :P

ok..mybe i forgot to update this blog because i'm too bz updating my other blog, the academic one. So, i will forgive myself for once. and here is my other blog (will not be updated again) : CikMeow's FYP..

Finally, i graduated from MMU wt 3.++ pointer (but still considered as 2nd class lower distinction T___T). My convocation will be held in this coming October, few days before my birthday. And now, I'm still looking for a right job for myself (i just quit from my first job in KJ..it is so bad).

so, the reasons why i'm back to this blog is because i'm missing my boyfie so badly and i do want to talk about him (but i dont want to do it on my FB) as a way for me to keep the feeling alive deep in my heart. Thus, this blog will be my platform of sharing things (but not too personal thing coz he might dont like it).

That's it from me..pls enjoy my writing.

With Love,

Cik Meow.